Why Am I Feeling Anger At My Father’s Having Alzheimer’s?

Grief is natural when a loved one’s diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Grief for the person they used to be. And grief for life you used to have.

And one of the stages of grief is anger…anger at the situation, and even anger at your loved one for getting caught in the situation.

Researchers have identified ten different stages of grief. Each person goes through these stages at his/her own pace; and not everyone goes through all of them.

The ten stages of grief:

1. Shock – Disbelief that a loved one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
2. Denial – It’s not really happening. Dad will snap out of it, and be his old self again.
3. Depression – Overwhelming sadness, feelings of isolation.
4. Physical Distress – Symptoms of illness, or incapacitating fatigue.
5. Anxiety – Worrying about the future…from the next minute to the next decade.
6. Anger – Anger at the disease. Anger at the doctor. Anger at your loved one. And anger at God.
7. Guilt – “Why was I always yelling at Dad?”
8. Withdrawing from Friends, Normal Activities – How will they treat me? How will they treat Dad?
9. Dealing With Memories – Happy memories can actually help you heal.
10. Acceptance – Your Dad has the disease. There’s nothing you can do about it. But there is something you can do to make the best of it.

One thing about grief – there are no short-cuts. And if you ignore your feelings now, they’ll come back to bite you later.

You may have to deal with new stages of grief each time your Dad/Mom goes through new stages of Alzheimer’s. Don’t fight the feelings; let yourself experience them. Whatever you do, though, realize that your feelings are normal! And that you have to let yourself experience them before you can move on.

We can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we’re Elder Law attorneys. Over the 35 years, we’ve walked thousands of South Florida families through the Dementia Journey, with professionalism, compassion, and a soft shoulder when necessary. And we’ve also provided these families with comprehensive estate plans, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care plans, asset protection plans, and assistance with the VA or Medicaid.

We’ll be there for you, too. We’re just a phone call away,