To some women – perhaps many women – it really is a man’s world. Why? Because, in our society, women seem to have more fears, especially as they get older, than men do. And, often, less avenues to help cope with those fears. A number of surveys have been done about what women fear most as they get older. And the results give us a picture of aging in America that’s not a very pretty one for women.
Some body parts don’t look the same. Some wrinkle. Some don’t work like they used to. And this all seems to be harder for women that for men. Our culture, of course, is youth-oriented…some say youth-obsessed. Perhaps surprisingly so in a country in which Boomers are far and away the largest segment of the population. (One of the reasons for the youth-obsession we see in our media is that youth are more oriented toward spending money, while Boomers and seniors may be more oriented toward saving it, if possible.)
Some social scientists maintain that the results of these surveys may indicate that looks are more important to women than to men.
What can you do about it? Well, you can get enough sleep. Enough exercise. Enough healthy food. Enough social interaction. And enough laughs. All of which help us to feel engaged…and younger.
Women fear a spouse’s death more than men do. They fear their children’s death more than men do. They fear losing their friends (through death or relocation) more than men do.
What can you do about it? You can nurture your friendships…with both women and men. And nurture your connections to clubs, causes, classes, hobbies, interests, etc
Women, apparently, have always been more afraid of ending up alone and destitute than men. And this fear, according to surveys, was only reinforced by The Great Recession of a few years ago.
What can you do about it? You can educate yourself financially. If your husband/significant other is still alive, you can be involved in financial decision-making. And you can put away some money every week – even a small amount every week can grow surprisingly over the years!
It’s surely no secret. Cancer takes a terrible – and disproportionate – toll on older people. And getting it – particularly breast cancer – is the top health fear of aging women. These days, of course, cancer is being discussed in the media as never before. And, ironically, that constant exposure to us could be a huge factor in the fear that women have of it.
There’s another irony here, as well. Heart disease is actually the biggest killer of women in our country. Yet, in one survey, it was named by only ten percent of women as their top fear.
What can you do about it? Plenty! Make sure you get enough exercise. Make sure you get regular screenings. Make sure you eat healthy foods that may exhibit some anti-cancer properties. And put cancer into perspective. If it makes you feel any better…you’re more likely to die of heart disease, anyway!
No one wants to be dependent on others as they age. But this fear, for some reason, seems to haunt women more than men.
Perhaps it’s because women have traditionally been caregivers…and reversing the role would be a very tough thing to take. In addition, women may believe their spouses would be unable to adequately care for them. And they may feel, too, that they wouldn’t want to be a burden on their family.
What can you do about it? Plan! Do you have healthcare directives for your family in case you become incapacitated, or unable to make healthcare decisions? Do you have a living will? Are your estate planning documents up to date? If you can answer “yes” to these questions, you’ll be much less of a “burden” to your family. And if you can’t answer “yes”…what are you waiting for?
