Photo: 12 days post surgery
My newest personal story on the saga of aging.
Three weeks ago my sister in law, who lives in NY, called me and announced that she was on her way down. Her mom, 91 years old needed gallbladder surgery. At 91 it’s all a biggy but in general we were not worried. So no real biggy!
I grabbed a copy of her Durable Power of Attorney and Health Care Surrogate and headed to the hospital
This little biggy became ginormous very quickly after the first visit with the surgeon! The gallbladder wasn’t the problem at all. No – Mom had her stomach sitting up in her hiatal hernia and was completely twisted, allowing nothing to go through her body. We were told that she needed to get this fixed NOW or she would die. Oh, and, by the way, …she’ll probably die during or immediately after the surgery anyway. EVERY EVERY doctor who saw her before the surgery said she “wouldn’t make it” “very risky’ 10% chance etc. We resigned ourselves to the inevitable.
Having no real choice, surgery took place two days later with my sister in law and me freezing to death and eating junk food -and lots of it- in the lobby of Florida Medical Center in Lauderdale Lakes and just waiting for the bad news to come. But there was worse than death we feared. What if she came out of surgery with no quality of life? My sister-in-law, her surrogate, was petrified. It was a very long day.
The surgery ran late giving my sister in law some extra time with her mom. She laid in her hospital bed with her and cried, sure that this was likely the end. How did this happen? This was just supposed to be a gall bladder operation.
After 5 gruelling hours, and against all odds, Mom not only came through the surgery, she came through with all cognitive function in place (my fear) and it looks like she will be able to remain independent (my sister in law’s fear) and is recovering amazingly and with a remarkable attitude at Springtree Rehab in Sunrise.
Is there a message here? Certainly surgery at age 91 is incredibly risky. We were in the unenviable position of having no real choice. But making these kinds of pseudo and real “end of life” decisions can be brutal. They differ from person to person. And, as we discovered first hand, it can’t always be anticipated. So have “ the conversation” with your loved ones early and often, name a great health care surrogate and durable power or attorney and pray! And bring a sweater!
Much thanks to Dr. Vanitha Vasudevan, Lauderdale Lakes, FL who had the courage to do the surgery in the first place (most doctors “wouldn’t have touched her”, we were told by other doctors) and Springtree Rehab in Sunrise, FL for the great care and rehab she is getting.
