It’s Groundhog Day. Punxsutawney Phil, has made his official forecast. There will be 6 weeks more of winter and early spring.
Phil was wearing a mask, like all attendees. The ceremony was held behind closed doors, no fans were allowed and everyone there was socially distanced.
If you are wondering why I know this bit of trivia, it’s because today is my son Danny’s 35th birthday so I equate Groundhog day with family.
As most of you know, in normal times I do a great deal of public speaking and am often asked to speak at facilities, in-services, civic groups and organizations. I generally talk about something I elder law like Medicaid planning. One time I found myself in front of frail seniors who are too frail to benefit from Medicaid advice.
The first time this happened, I was at a nursing facility in front of approximately 6 residents. What should I talk about? What can I offer these people? For the first few moments, I was speechless, which most of you know, is unusual!
I always tell my staff that our clients are full of the best stories and that if we don’t ask or don’t listen, the stories will die with them. That’s when an idea came to me. I started to ask the residents for their stories and wrote them down.
Despite their lack of capacity, enough long term memory was intact for me to capture several stories and for them to share with each other. I wrote them down and gave them to the social worker. I then sent her a simple format for an “ethical” or “legacy” will which she could use as an exercise in the future. I have repeated this many times over with great reception and encourage all my clients to execute an “ethical/legacy” will.
An ethical will (or legacy will) is a record of life lessons, wishes, and dreams—intended to be read by loved ones after your death— and may last even longer than a financial reward. Not a legal document, an ethical will is a way of passing down what’s meaningful to you. You can share your thoughts in a single letter or video, you can make it a serial exercise—write a note on your kid’s class picture every year, or add something personal to holiday letters before you stick them in a folder. No matter which method you choose, there is no right or wrong. It’s just whatever you want to impart.
Some people do video ethical wills and use professional services, but this is not necessary. Share your stories, your world view, your meaningful memories. You can add photos or mementoes. Again, there is no right or wrong.
There are tons of lists and templates online but you really don’t need them. However, if you have any questions on this or any other elder law matter, please feel free to contact our office.
