Covid-19 has highlighted the fact that better monitoring is not enough. The coronavirus has exposed and amplified a long-standing and larger problem: our failure to value and invest in a safe and effective long-term care system. What to look for in a senior living community during Covid.
Many of us promised in good faith, back when our loved one was healthy, that we wouldn’t ever put them in a nursing home. That would be abandoning them. We aim to care for them ourselves until they die.
Admirable thinking. However, as years go by and care needs mount, we find ourselves faced with the fact that, no matter how much we wish we could, we may not be able to keep that promise.
So, with some guilt, we start looking at other options. For some families, this means living with adult children or having adult children living with the senior. My experience is that this is a last option for both.
Another option, though there is some guilt attached, is getting some in-home agency help. Why the guilt? Because you are now sharing the caregiving with someone else, someone who is not a family member.. That isn’t what you had in mind way back when, but your loved one is not safe alone all day, and you can’t be there all the time. You have to do something.
Adult day care can be a wonderful choice for many seniors, as they get care and supervision, plus peer interaction and activities more stimulating than watching TV all day. But, this too means you are turning over some of the care to strangers.
The day comes where in-home care can’t handle all of their needs. Adult day care can’t take care of them. Only one choice remains, and that is a facility Assisted Living Facility of Skilled Nursing Facility.
None of us know the future. You can “break your promise” without breaking the spirit of the promise.
Our healthy loved ones may have visions of nursing homes decades ago, and the very idea of living in a senior community one is unthinkable to them. You tend to agree. Yet, now the day has come where:
Adjust your attitude. You have done all you can. You have honored the spirit of your promise. People live longer now, in far worse condition, than they did in the past. Because of medical advances, their hearts are still ticking. However, they are in such frail health that there is no way you can care for them alone. No one could have foreseen this way back when they were younger and healthy.
There is a senior community that is right for your loved one. So, be proactive and tour the ones in your area long before the need arises. And call us for recommendations and resources. Be realistic but be aware. Find the best one you can. Hang around and you’re likely to find family members visiting their loved ones. Ask them what they think of the home.
Even when your elders are in a facility, you are still a caregiver. I took care of my in-laws and later my parents all at home. They had aides and a geriatric care manager. I was still a caregiver.
If you place your loved one in an assisted facility in a nursing home, they still need you, the primary caregiver. They need you as an advocate. They need you to put the personal touches on their rooms and to be visible to the home staff and the other residents. They need you to help them settle in and make friends. You can make this their new home, and be the person who visits, without all of the exhaustion that used to make you crabby. And you can do it without guilt. Using the help of a good facility while keeping an eye on things and continuing to care for your elders in this new role, allows you to be the best for them. You are providing them with the best care humanly possible. Accept your humanity without guilt. Honor the spirit of your promises by being the best caregiver you can be.
I Promised My Parents I’d Never Put Them in a Nursing Home
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How to Pay for an Assisted Living Facility Nursing Home Without Going Broke and How to Find The Right One for Your Loved One.
If your loved one can no longer live at home safely, you may have no choice but to place them in some sort of communal living. This can actually be of benefit to the elder who may benefit from the socialization and the hands-on care.
But what about the cost of a facility? Everyday people in Broward and Palm Beach Counties go broke paying for this care. Sometimes they must even sell the family home and spend it down. This is because they have been told that they must be out of money before they can get any government help.
We know better! You would not ask the Internal Revenue Service to do your tax returns, would you? They know all the deductions but will they tell you? Should a nursing home be an expert in qualifying for Medicaid or Veterans benefits, if they are spending their time caring for your loved one?
This is where the Law Office of Alice Reiter Feld comes in. Alice Reiter Feld is an ABA board certified Elder Law Attorney. It’s her job to know all of the Medicaid and Veterans benefits rules in both state and federal law. Alice protects her clients from being unnecessarily impoverished, legally and honestly.
The rules of Medicaid and Veterans benefits are nearly impossible for the layperson to understand. In fact, most likely, your family attorney will say things like, “It’s too late to do anything!” – or just shrug his or her shoulders and offer you the same old will and power of attorney that they prepare for their healthy clients.
We know more solutions. We help people like you deal with the mind-boggling, complex maze of Medicaid and Veterans benefits paperwork and the frustration that accompanies it. We know where the landmines are placed along the Elder Care Journey.
As a client of our firm, we are able to help you identify the best possible accommodations in South Florida, whether Assisted Living, memory care, in-home, or a Nursing Home.
Also, feel free to download our Free Consumer Guide For Medicaid, Veterans Benefits And Asset Protection For Long Term Care Needs Planning, you’ll find plain-English explanations of what the dangers are and what you can do to avoid the hidden pitfalls that await you if you’re walking blind. Request your copy now, so you can protect yourself, your legacy, and your dignity.
Considerations after Covid
Certain conditions at nursing homes can exacerbate the spread of the disease:
What should you look for in a nursing home post covid?
Because nursing home residents are especially vulnerable, CMS does not recommend opening facilities to visitors (except for compassionate care situations) until phase three when:
On-site rapid testing and personal protective equipment would allow visitors to go back inside nursing homes and assisted living facilities. So check for these things when looking the nursing home option
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/hcp/long-term-care.html
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/health/info-2020/nursing-homes-coronavirus-faqs.html
